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bye blogger.



XOXO

tired of what?

I dont know isit i got tired of ranting, whinning 

OR i cant be bother of saying all theses anymore.

Its pointless afterall.

saying doesnt makes me feel any better. 

It doesnt make all those feelings go away.

It cant change anything as well.

Perhaps i just dont wanna remind myself of the pain.

Or maybe just maybe too numb. 

I would loves to meet all my lovely girlfriends and buddies and shishus.

But facing them is having to face theses all Over again.

What happened?

are you ok?

you deserve better?

did you guys talk? 

And many more.

I dont want to answer all of thatt. 

Because whats coming from me aint true ,mostly.

Of course im not ok despite its me who initial it.

Im not ok and i dont deserve anyone. 

I know each and everyone cares for me deeply 

And are definitely happy for me cause all of them thinks i deserve someone better.

But the fact is im the not good enough one.

All the problems lies in me.

Im the most horrible girl on earth.

And thats why i dont deserve anyone. 

Everyday is just plain torture.

No matter how much i tried not to think of it.

It came floating into my mind all the time.

And yes only i can pick myself up.

Nobody knows how hard i tried. How much im struggling. 

Im really glad my friends are all here to give me a helping hand.

I appreciated it alot.

I will pick myself up and one day i will be okays.

One day i wont have pretend to smile to hide thoses sadness. 

Eventually, everything will get better .

I know. 

I just.. 

Well. 

Goodbye.

Xoxo

heartbreaker?

I have never broken a heart of someone I love.
I have broken hearts that I doesnt have feelings with but this is the first time i choose to break the heart of someone I love.
I didnt know it would hurt this much.
It too pain for me to handle.
Everyday I put on smiles to people to assure them Im okay.
But every inch of me wants to breakdown.
And I cant, I couldnt let people see the weak side of me.
Moreover I dont want them to worry about me.
Especially people who cares for me.
I DONT WANT THEM TO FEEL SAD THAT THEY CANT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
and I know even me myself cant do anything to make myself feel any better.
Why does it hurt sho much，太痛了.
Well, what a four letter words have done to me.
It really pains me more to see you hurt.
Everynight, tears just rolled lidat.
No matter how much I tried to suppress it.
Insomnia really needs to stop disturbing me.
I want to rest, I want to sleep.
Thats the only time I wont have to feel the pain.
Im sucha loser, always.
I need to stop ranting.
Goodnights.

Im a heartbreaker with a broken heart.







Xoxo

I didnt know it would hurt this much.
And theres nothing i can do to make myself feel any better.
Imy.

last 2012

Hi, 20mins to the next day of 2012. Well been really long since i last updated something here. But since the year is ending i should.
It have been a rough, happy, sad, angry, great and fast year.
Been through alot this year.
First half of the year im still going thru my single life.
But yea im back with my past.
Past might not seems right. Its present nao.
Well, lets not dwell on it.
I wont say im looking forward to the new year.
Because whats holding in 2013.
but new year is always a new beginning for everything.
New thinking, new perspective and new emotions.
Sho people start the year right yea?
And yes i have travelled alot this year.
Bintan, msia, bangkok and not forgetting taiwan.
Taiwan with le team is beyond awesome.
The bond, the fun, the moments are perfect.
Precious memories with team tp totally.
Things are great with le bestfriend as usualllll.
Didnt really meet my gfs and shishus alot but still loving them as much as ever. Its in my heart babies.
And with the boy, as usual.
Lets see how 2013 will be.
Happy 2013 people.
Have a great year ahead.


Xoxo