salut ! (:
today got feel to blog! and its very late nao , i got a math test tmr and i havent study yet ! great! (Y)
well, good thing about it is my school starts late tmr ,so im gonna wake and study in the morning !
anyway im supposed to have a short day for wednesday(S) , exception for today because...
i went to ms to meet jiahui as she got work for me to do , and i cant afford not to work .
and im back to school again for some team meeting.
had a team talk with paul and it took alot of our precious time !
well, its a good talk i guess. hopefully an useful one please! (:
best part of the day is DINNER AT BEDOK 85 !
satisfy another craving of mine (Y)
BA CHOR MEE, PORRIDGE, CARROT CAKE,HAO JIAN, CHICKEN WING and ICE MILO! (Y)
i know its very fattening and i know im getting fatter alr !
everybody is saying , even my BOSS said that when he saw me today! ):
like a very sad! but but i promise i WILL KEEP FIT WITH THE YAO (XIAOQIAN) after CNY!
i will! and everyday im constantly reminding myself SELF-DISCIPLINE !
you know, its not like you say you wanna change and BOOF immediately you become the person you want to be . everythings takes time and sometimes its a long period of time.
i may not be perfect and im very bad , i know, but i felt that from the past me till nao i have alr changed alot . and im still trying and i know im still very bad.
family.
i love my family alot although we aint like how other family are supposed to ce.
complicated . but jia jia you ben nan nian de jing.
i just hope things get better .
i believe dad&mum have suffered alot alr, espcially my beloved daddy .
god if you ever exist please go easy on him .
because i cant afford to lose him, w/o him i will be nothing.
there are 2 guys in the world who will only love me and not hurt me, thats daddy&korkor. <3
and i love them alot .
although i dun mention much about him but i care for him okays .
although there are alot of bad times we had but i still love my family alot .
school .
HELLHELLHELL
because of me , myself and i .
i have been slacking and doing nothing ever since i step into poly .
im lazy during secondary school but im ever lazier in poly !
and that kills ! because its projects and projects, quizs and assignments every week , everyday !
and i have not been doing much ! :/
keep finding excuses for myself, idiot much i know.
know what?
i always blame people for giving up on me .
being sensitive and all .
just then i realised that actually my friends are helping me but im giving up myself.
i believe that at time when they tried to giveup on me i deserved it.
because its like if you try so hard to help someone but the person keep doing nothing ,you also will be sianxed and eventually duncare.
BUT GOOD THING IS MY FRIENDS THEY WILL EVENTUALLY STILL HELP ME !
and den i felt guilty because i felt that i alway let them down.
they are right, even if they want to help me, i dun help myself also no use.
so im gonna start doing my work nao !
like for the one month just chiong only!
although i feels that i might retake some of the modules!
and it never too late to know your mistakes right ?
HAHAH! after these few days of trashing emotions to people, i think alot !
and realised alot of things!
okok, conclusion , i will try not to give up on myself (:
thanks my lovely girls :D
team (KX)
where should i start ?
why i join kx?
because i wanted to learn to have self-discipline.
i always thought that kx is a very very very discipline and organised team .
and i want to change or maybe prove people wrong that im not that kind of player they think i am .
so i went and i really learn alot of things there .
but i didnt commit much to it because things happened here and there.
although i felt that im not bond with the team, sir always assure me that im his player, in kx , one of them .
sir is understand and naise (too naise at times)
and i really have to apologise for always disappointing him and wasting his efforts.
when sir said that : ivy, i know that your heart is with kaixuan and dont worry kaixuan will always have a place for you.
i really really ver touched, but partly sad too .
because my heart isnt whole heartedly with kx.
part of me still live in the past , even the fact that they duncare .
but yea im moving on , like really move on.
stop comparing and start doing something .
it have been so long alr , and when i left none saud anything .
none came and talk to me about my life or ask abbout anything or show any concern at all .
so i assume that its okays with them that im not with them .
i hold on so much because i believe that i done alot for the team .
but seems like afterall its not so much isnt it ? because if i really did alot, they would have care .
but why after i left for so long they just treat it as nothing happened?
well, say so much also no use right ?
because i did alot of wrong things too .
and yea, im gonna move on .
goodbye hu, hello kx. (: <3
team(TP)
we have alr said whats in our mind.
i just hope that all of us will meant what they said.
and make it into actions instead of just empty words.
and i have to say i have a very strong captain.
thankyou for being so strong and not givingup .
you have suffered alot, we gonna save you this year okays ?
i really cant wait to keep fit with you because the fact that everyone is complaining that im getting fatter !
and the years3 that are graduating , although i dunno you are very well except for yh !
thanks for being part of my life !
like ahsam i really hope she recover fast and nothing happened to her anymore, she had enough of injuries, shes a strong girl, so dear god , go easy on her please.
seeing her lidat make us heartache only !
and my dear miss chua please find back your confident! like hope you sleep wakeup and then found it alr !
hahahah ! hope miss cm knows whats she wanna do after graduation ! and miss jingjing to start practicing good hygiene ! HAHAHA !
and and and i really hope many many more players will really start putting in effort as what they had promised.
and the new batch will be good too , like attendance and bonding with us .
2011 TP WILL MAKE A TURN BACK! WE PROMISE !
everyone, im starting to love you all alr (Y)
aww` im so sweet .
i swear if my teammates read this, they gonna start saying im yao again -.-
hate them sometimes for saying me yao ):
like such a cute me let them say until lidat! sigh...
whahahah! okays if qian-er were to see this she gonna point her middle finger to me! HAHAH !
okays, in conclusion, we are gonna find the warrior in us and fight hard . <3>
friends (wei,chew)
thank you bitches for being my honey&ahwang!
life will be hell without you two .
with you guys there will always be gossiping and PHOTO TAKING! :D
and and the best is we know that we wont bitch about each other (Y)
we should really meetup soon! (:
i love you girls so much ! (Y) <3
THT(BP)
you know what, everything i want to say you know it .
because we are twin , you know whats in my mind alr.
really cannot stand our twin genes.
bp one thing to say only : sorry that i have been neglecting you these days and at times im taking you for granted . because you are really very impt to me, VERY .
you are the exceptional one, I HATE YOU ALOT PLEASE ! _l_
other close friends: sister,shishus,girlfriends and all .
thanks for bearing with my nonsense all the time.
sorry for all the ridiculous rubbish that i gave you.
friends really mean alot to me .
xoxo. (:
MY LOVELY BOY! (:
finally im talking about you nao.
okays, i dunno if its a good/bad thing but well thanks for not giving up on me. (:
things seems to gets better after we trashed things out .
you got sweeter, put in more efforts.
every lil things you've done, i see it, feel it and sense it okays ? (:
although there are still times that you are insensitive or im too sensitive to it .
but well im someone who has too much of insecurities in me when lil tiny bit of thing i felt that is impt and you think its not or never even realised it .
and i have constantly remind myself to be content too !
like not forcing you too much, expecting too much from you .
trying to really treasure all the time spent and cherish while you still love me .
and you are going to get enlisted SOON ! like when im having my holidays! ):
thats very sad and nao im very busy and we have got no time to meet ):
THAT ADD ON TO MY SADNESS! ):
and i have to start from stretch again , because i have to adapt days without you here.
okays thinking about it is alr killing me seriously !
lalala i know im acting like a li girl again, but let me whine okays !
hahaha ! and and thanks for bearing my childishness and stubbornness !
and and and clingy -NESS! hahaha ! opps!
lalala! iduncareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, can you not serve the nation ? okays, im just kidding ! :/
i love you baby !
goodnights! :)
finally im gonna stop here for godness sack and also because im very tired alr!
nights people ! :D
xoxo.
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