define life.

hi there.
havent been really blogging.
went bintan with my guai-est classmates.
we had fun by the beautiful scenery there. :)
great trip with them <3
came back and work for IT fair under epson printer.
sho busy and tired.
for that one week, i didnt even have any time to think about it.
and nao back to reality.
need to face the facts and all again.
this messy life , messy heart.
was trying sho hard to forget and ignore it.
have been running away from it long enough.
its time to face it and deal with it.
its really impossible to ignore and treat as if nothing happened.
18 months, we have been thru sho long sho many things.
its not easy to just walk away despite hating the fact that you've changed and love someone else.
i cant just forget about it like you.
i cant ignore like as if nothing happened like you.
i cant shut all theses feelings like you.
i just cant.
despite knowing that you moved on or even cheated on me.
i just have to deal with it, i know.
im moving on, but my mind is in a messed, my life is in a messed, sho is my heart.
im tired, very tired.
tired of escaping from this feeling.
tired of trying sho hard to be strong.

just like any other girl.
i wanna be loved.
i wanna be pamper.
i wanna someone to care for.
i wanna have someone to lean on.
i wanna have someone to hug when everything turns out bad.

somebody define life for me.
it wont rain forever.
but will this rain stop soon please.
i miss the smiles on my face.
i miss myself.