tsktsk
very long never blog alr .
guess peeps misses me ! right ? :D
anyway, exam period is so hard to survive ):
tired max and stress max.
omgosh , 3 more papers to go .
good thing 2 papers down alr .
exams ending, baby's enlistment coming .
march will be sucha torture for me.
especially when all my good close friends are going oversea.
not just 3-4 days but 1-2 weeks.
sigh. ):
i seriously wish and hope a getaway .
if only im born rich , or sky could just drop money for me.
well, dream on.
nao can blog but dunno what to say .
awww.
will be back soon , maybe 4 days or a week more ?
gooodbyez!

life

awwww~
seems like i haven't been blogging for a few days alr .
have been skipping school on thur&fri.
study with honey~
but fail max!
because we end up talking and slacking!
tsk !
anyway spend quality time with my precious these few days .
i know he has been bearing with all my nonsense and ridiculous thingy and have been very patient with me alr.
i know i should be contented with what im having nao.
awesome friends, sweet bf, daddy&korkor dotes on me.
more than anyone could ask for.
but why am i still emo-ing -.-
i think i might have a slight depression :/
hahah, okays kidding! :D
LALALA~
but im using all my strength to fight those negative thoughts alr.
just go easy on me please.
really.
i dunwant to see things i dunwish to see, hear things i dunwish to know.
just let me be an innocent girl that knows nothing.
anyway korkor brought me to V4 (Y)
its really eye opening for me.
to see all kinds of people.
he brought me there to have fun and also teaches me about the diff kind of people there.
well, all i can say is ...nothing.
hahah. but some of the ladies there is really pretty and some hot guys singer. (Y)
lalala.
everyone is busy studying yet i still go out and have fun -.-
goodjob ivyng.
this two weeks please go easy on me.
baby's gonna be busy with his stuffs and im gonna study for exam.
how great is that ?
fantabulous ~(Y)
lastly before i go !
rmb to choose your friends wisely, you never know what they will do to you.
its good to have true friends, so cherish and treasure them.
i have got awesome friends! (Y)
becuase they never leave me for such a worse and messy girl like me.
they stand by me whenever i need them and never never dies one me.
honey, dun thanks me for all the thing i've done for you.
i love you people alot! <3
but well, less than my boy a lil mini bit ! (:
teehees.
goodbye.
xoxo

























sometimes we cant believe what we see, what we hear and what we feel.

fear

its wed alr, and i have been wasting my week away.
Monday valentines, tues long day and slack my day away and today sleep and study really a lil bit nia.
omgosh, i totally dun have sense of urgency ! D:
dunno why happened, stress or what.
keep emo-ing , especially when it come to night time when im alone.
den cry over seriously stupid and useless stuffs.
i seriously wish this feelings can go off soon.
its ridiculous and killing me.
i know when im like this, i would ruin things again .
im trying to suppress it , to hide it.
well, please please someone take this mixed feelings away from me.
i really want a getaway badly.
time seems to be so lil.
exams is coming and the day baby gonna be enlisted is nearing. D:
perhaps its just a big reason why im feeling all these , again..
the thought of having to go through it all over again is torturing me.
the long weekdays, short weekens, insufficient time tgt, lack of communication ?
okays, im just afraid the same thing might happened again, history might reply itself again.
or maybe its me , the problem just lies with me.
its always me, i dunno whats wrong with myself too . :/
its scary how this feeling gets stronger and deeper each day .
like its beyond control...
the scarier it gets, the more paranoia it gets.
okays conclusion, ivyng just bang wall and die suan . (Y)
LALALA~
well, i have got great friends.(Y)
and honey has been pretty sad lately.
i just wish i could be there for her whenever she needs me .
just feel helpless when shes sad and theres nothing i can do to make her feel better .
but i just want her to be happy.
i dun really like the feeling of seeing my friend sad, especially the ones that are close to me .
i pretty much miss my shishus .
miss how they always dote and treat me like a lil princess.
i just wish i could just go back to secondary school and party in school everyday with the lovelys.
i miss them like hell, the 5NAs.

happy studying and mugging people. (:
jiayous :D
xoxo.














perhaps the past made me who i am today.

有些心酸，不是每个人能理解的

hello there.
i know i have been emo-ing too much lately !
but well, too many things have been running on my mind .
seriously emotionally stress.
sigh, i wish i could just tell everything to one person .
and the person will just hug me and say: its okays, you are not alone.
whateverr lahhhh !
lalala!
its valentines today ! and yet its just another day !
hahah ! but i hope you guys have fun and enjoy this special day (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DONNY ALSO !
20 alr , stop being like a kid and stop bullying me !
may you find a great gf (:
LALALA~





i just need to learn to be strong again, hate the feeling of crying all the time.

my choice, my responsibility .

hello there!
me kinda miss my blog alr, guess my dear peeps miss it too :D
anyway im sick :/
cough like hell, flu like my nose gonna drop anytime..
nobody cares because i duncare! :)
LALALAL! had KFC somemore! (Y)
okays lah , let me summarise what have i done these few days!
tues: long day in school and meet my baby. had dinner and homesweethome.
wed: meet honey and brough my lil cousin out to MBS den meet sister !(:
thurs: went to buy presents with kor and meet baby .
and and finally today!
supposed to went ikea but well end up never go.
meet honey wei,ahwang chew,shishu beng,daddy milk and xuanny! :D
we went town and celebrate daddys belated bday.
went to mindcafe! and they went singk !
me went to have some time alone at the swing.
it brought back alot of happy memories.
i wish i could have a restart button .
but well, its impossible.
anyway someone told me this: you choose your own bf, so live with it.
yea, i made my own choice.
and i really love him, really.
so please make it worthwhile.
dun leave like how the others did.
if i were to have faith&trust in you .
would you show me miracle ?
just by letting me feel how much i mean to you.
goodnights.
xoxo.

contended

hey people.
i know its the first day back to school after a short breaqk for CNY.
hows school?
i guess stressed up and moodless yea?
thats what i see from fb and twitter.
everyone complaining about exams coming and still in that CNY holiday mood.
comon people jiayous.
last lap alr !
endure for 2-3more weeks and its holidays! :D
yesyes,ivyng needs to get her exam mood too alr!
and needs to start exercising!
okays, i know action speaks louder than words!
so stop being LAZY AND GET MOVING IVY NG! :/
anyway had 2hr lesson in school today.
went yishun and visit ERIC TAN THAT IDIOT!
baby came for awhile too .
thanks baby for spending time with me (:
i know we have been argue-ing alot these days.
i know i have asked too much from you,.
i know its all my childishness and insecurities that is killing us.
i know you are trying very hard alr.
i know i need to be contended.
do you know how afraid i am ?
im afraid that you will leave like how the others did.
im afraid that when you got enlisted things changed and we changed.
im afraid that i've got no much time for you.
espcially this month, im so gonna get studying and busy with my exams.
yet you gonna get enlisted soon...
i wanna spend time with you, cherish the time we got.
im stressed up with everything.
emotionally stress. really.
yet everytime i have to pretend im alright.
i wanted to rant so much to you.
but everytime i got scolded/nagged by you instead.
sometimes im alr very hurt but the words you said make me even worst.
its like i know you meant well, you want me to uds things.
but you know, im just a girl .
how much can i take ?
sometimes, i just want you to hug me and tell everything its okays, because you are here for me.
but at times, i held back thinking should i tell you things or not ?
because you always make me feel like everything is my fault.
its like everything ive done will never be right , never.
im sorry that i love you, im sorry that i got us into this, im sorry that its tedious to be with me, im sorry that im acting like a kid, im sorry that all my insecurities&sesitiveness brought us so many unhappiness.
but hang on boy, because i will get better.
for you, for myself.
i love you,baby :)


have been crying alot lately, almost everyday.
i dunno whats wrong.
i got upset over lil things .
too emotionally.
i miss how i used to be.
this is not me.
hangon ivyng.
you can do better than this.
my dear friends that have been pretty upset lately too.
cheerup.
it will not rain forever.
BP right? :)
jiayous people !
goodnights . (:
xoxo.

CNY was a total disastrous !
bored and hell arghhhh feelings.
fucking damm it okays.
I FUCKING KNNCCB DE BU SHUANG NAO! DAMM !
!$^%@%*@&()*#(^@$@ !
FUCK LAH HORH!
i dun care , if you unhappy with whatever i wrote here or fucking bu shuang that im so vulgar than fucking dun read this post!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
can someone save me from this !
FUCK IT FUCK UP FEELING OKAYS! _l_
i want to get out of this fucking place!
KNNBCCB! PCB! FFFFFFFUCK !
arghh !

a lil unhappiness make a long way ahead.

hey there people/
my CNY day one was a terrible one -.-
did nothing and went to meet baby .
and then lalala things happened and a lil unhappiness caught up again.
cried a lil and since when i became a crybaby ! tsk !
anyway i guess i brought it upon myself.
im such a terrible girl, worse gf anyone never wants to have.
but well, thank god i have a bf that bear with all my nonsense.
whatever. argh!
CNY i hate you ! byes!













if one day you were to ever leave because you are tired alr, i will never blame you.

i love to take pictures (:

hello there!
hows your eve ?
mine was alright!
went to walk walk alone in the afternoon at amk hub!
back home packed my stuffs, paint my nails !
and dad came picked me up and drove me to ahma place!
had steamboat as usual !:D
and then meetup with idiotic PORK BP , my twin!
we went to mac and slack and TAKE PICTURES AGAIN! :D
we always take pictures at mac one lorh! tsk!
but well she loves to post all my unglam pictures on her blog!
I HATE HER _l_
but well, great time spend with her :D
anyway i cant wait to wear my new dresses!
and i only brought dress for this new year (Y)
lalala~
happy chinese new year everyone!
may all your wishes come true !
and this is what my mum say :
ahmei uhs, new year alr , zhang da le.bf bu yao yi zhi huan !
WHAT THE HELL !!$^%@*@@$@^$@@))@&!&^%#%$^&(**)(&!
okokays!
byes! :D

(:

once again im here to blog.
good thing about tmr is that YAY LESSON CANCELLED! :D
so i dunhave to wakey early! YAYNESS! (:
lalala~
anyway CNY is here alr.
hope everyone got big big angbaos okays! (:
anyway had a long day in school today !
but good thing is off to meet baby for dinner !
and slack chitchat! (:
lalala~
very lazy to blog but wants to blog! jialat i know!
hahahah . shall blog when i got feel then!
byes! goodnights!
xoxo! (: