last 2012

Hi, 20mins to the next day of 2012. Well been really long since i last updated something here. But since the year is ending i should.
It have been a rough, happy, sad, angry, great and fast year.
Been through alot this year.
First half of the year im still going thru my single life.
But yea im back with my past.
Past might not seems right. Its present nao.
Well, lets not dwell on it.
I wont say im looking forward to the new year.
Because whats holding in 2013.
but new year is always a new beginning for everything.
New thinking, new perspective and new emotions.
Sho people start the year right yea?
And yes i have travelled alot this year.
Bintan, msia, bangkok and not forgetting taiwan.
Taiwan with le team is beyond awesome.
The bond, the fun, the moments are perfect.
Precious memories with team tp totally.
Things are great with le bestfriend as usualllll.
Didnt really meet my gfs and shishus alot but still loving them as much as ever. Its in my heart babies.
And with the boy, as usual.
Lets see how 2013 will be.
Happy 2013 people.
Have a great year ahead.


Xoxo

I SERIOUSLY WANT TO SAY FUCKKKKKKK 3.2 HARD.
FUCKKKKKK YOUUUU ASSIGNMENTS AND MP.

MY SUPER HERO DAD♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DADDY. ♥

I LOVE YOU DAD. ♥

PLEASE STAY HEALTHYYY AND BE HAPPY K? ♥

I PROMISE TO TAKECARE OF YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLD! ♥

HEEHEE,

THANKS FOR BEING MY SUPER HERO~ ♥

DAD, YOU WILL BE THE ONLY MAN THAT I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING AND ALWAYS THE FIRST IN MY HEARTTTTTT ♥

XOXO

Been long, HELLLO

omgosh ! I totally neglected this space but well.. life's busy! 

shall update a lil about my life.

not pretty sure if anyone is stilling reading this blog but well just for myself and the blog. heehee.

HI THEREEEEEEE!

Im still alive and kicking! duhhh if not how to update.

k, crap.

IM BACK IN SCHOOOLLLL! OHYEA.

LAST SEM OF SCHOOL ):

DEFINITELY GONNA MISS SCHOOLING AFTER GRADUATION.

TIME FLIES YOU SEE BABIES.

year1 seems just like last month but well it my last sem in school alr. 

no matter how much we complaint about school, we will always miss it when we left. ):

ohwell, just gonna treasure this last 6 months :/

and yea i decide to back to TP team and play my last IVP.

I guess I should be responsible since I joined by JPSAE/JSPAE ( either1), i shall just commit and playyyy although I suck at it.

SHO IM GOING TAIWAN WITH TEAMTP in dec! ^^

I dunno if I made a right choice,but just but.. I think I missed the lil ones a lil and being in the team.

end of story.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKK...

I LOVE MY BKK TRIP!

shop and eat likka free only ! ENJOYING LIFE SIBOOOO!

definitely yes during the trip!

great food, great shopping, great company and great life ! OHYEAA~

I MISS MY GIRLFRIENDSSSSSSSS ):

MY SHISHUS ):

MY BITCHY BEST TWINNY ):

BUTT IM GONNA MEET THEM SOON ! ^^ 

YAYYYSS! 

okays , im lazy alr! byez!

and yea, things are good with the boy and he is on his way here to cook me some foodddd!

IM A HAPPY GIRL! ^^

goodbye~

recent pic of me. :D

XOXO

L.O.V.E

couldnt fall asleep in the middle of the night.

thinking of the boy despite just seeing him a few hours ago.

he is a heartbreaker.

but i love him.

and i can feel his love.

therefore i can just put everything aside and just, love.

I love you, damian wong.

<3

just need to rant a lil

Hi there,
been long since i last updated my blog and i know i neglected this space alot.
I dunno isit that imma too busy or imma just plain lazyy..
yes, just admit that imma too LAZY! hahah.
still suck at intern as before.
16 more days to end of internship (exclude weekends/ph)
something to be happy about because fuckyeah holiday.
but on the other hand, sucks cause of majorproject.
I wouldnt say its half done, but its like somehwhere here and there.
kinda stress actually and presentation is on 23 aug.
although its not the actual and final presentations, i still hope theres at least something to show.
BUT just BUT, looking at the infomation i gotten and my partner, i feel like killing myself.
yes, thats how jialet it is. sighs.
time flies seriously, 19weeks of intership and i left with 3 more weeks.
working at MFA is fun and pleasant I would say.
definitely not the workload but the people and fun i had.
people here dote me, some of course.
maybe imma just too young thats why. HAHAH
i will definitely miss the people here and i bet they would miss me too.
but well, everything comes to an end.
LALALA~
I CANT WAIT FOR MY BKK TRIP DURING OCT!
omgosh, sho eggcited for this trip.
ME gonna shop like free and eat likka swine.
ohyea, imma going with my poly classmates! :)
two more months to my trippppp!

havent been meeting my girls for quite some time and we used to meet alot ):
somehow i felt that we are drifting, or perhaps i am drifting apart from them.I
 hate this feeling, like they are going out with their other cliques of friend but not me.
i understand that everyone is busy.
but why does it seems like imma the only one making effort.
well i guess, this is just part and parcel of life.
move on ivy.

as we grew older, we didnt realized that our parents grew older too.
parents health are getting worst, aging i would say.
all the health problems are slowly kicking in, body breaking down on them.
no matter how much you rant about your parents but once you see them suffering, it hurts you.
yes , theres exactly how imma feeling.
sho heartpain to see mum having to undergo surgery and dad health getting bad too.
but i believe things will get better and they will get well soon.
I love my parents <3


One thing I would confess : imma no longer single.


goodbye.

XOXO

 

Birthday week with the loves of my life.

Hi people outta there.
I know I havent been blogging for a long time alr.
And Imma super lazy to update this space, but I love this space.
because I can always rant my sadness and share my happiness here.
cause not many people know this space.
well, imma here to share my happiness today!
sharing with everyone my birthday week spent with the people I love dearly and is impt to me.
4th June
DINNERZ w/ my twinny bestfriend (TAYHWEITENG), her boyfriend (greg), fatfriend (zhihao) and aiai (vanessa)
sho we went amk, beside jubilee there to have zi char together.
supposedly should only be only me and my twin.
but ended up with a few of them joining us.
although its just a dinner but i feel heart warming enough.
eating, jokes, teasing and desserts time.
Its a really advance birthday. and I really enjoyed myself.
thank you people, for everything.
and thanks THT for your present, but I appreciate your presence more.
you are a part of me, because we are twin.
whatever happened on me will happen on you and vice versa. <3 (:

5th June
oh, its a really special day, because its my beloved honey birthday!
heehee. I get to laugh at her every year because she is one day older than me!
I guess my honey had a great birthday this year too.
in fact we celebrate our bday together every year since we were 14.
and nao we are already 20 !
thats how close we are since 6 years ago!<3
she have been through alot with me, up and downs.
arguments, disagreements and unhappiness.
we have been through it all. imma glad all those didnt break our strong friendship.
honey, thanks for being in my life.
you are the best honey on earth and please rmb I'll always be here for you.
no matter what I'm doing, I'm willing to stop and just listen to you or hug you. <3
yea, and back to my world.
I celebrated my advance birthday with an old friend at switch.
switch by timbre is a really naise place.
naise ambience, good singer and band, good food at reasonable price.
totally awesome to chill and relax!
and when 12am strike, my phone cant stop vibrating.
because of all the sweet, heartwarming texts and wishes from my beloved friends.
reading all those wishes really put a huge smile on my face. <3

6th June ( MY ACTUAL BDAY)
oh its finally my actually birthday!
came to work as usual cause imma having my internship.
sho my colleagues wishes me happy birthday and all.
after lunch one of my colleague lied and say you better dont anyhow run we gotta meeting at 215.
my lunch ended at 2pm.
sho I stayed in my office likka good girl cause I cant escaped from meeting.
dennn.. DADAAAAA!
my supervisor bought me a birthday cake!
HAHAH first cake of the day!
sho they sang birthday song for me, cut cake, took pictures and back to work!
but grateful for these lil things, because imma only here for 1 month and its sho naise of them alr.
I have to say althought my sup canz be really bitchy at times, she is naise to me. (everyone in the office thinks she dotes me like very much) HAHAH
the best part of the day is spending time with my loveliest GIRLFRIENDS!
met XUAN, RACHEL, KEE, BAO at town.
we went GENKI SUSHI for our dinnerz.
I have to say this, XUAN is the spoiler of the day! (JK)
HAHAHAH she quite dumb.
cause chel was hinting the waitress there to get the cake and all.
den xuan is like : chel, do you know her?
and chel was quite stun and she continue acting like nothing happened.
den after awhile DDADADADADAAAAAAAA~
the girls started singing very loudly with the waitress holding the small cupcake out.
awww, that moment was really epic.
cause the waitress putted the cake infront of xuan and they were singing to me.
they bought me AWFULLY CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE! ^^ and F21 vouchers! <3
sho sweet of them, really.
been really long since I last celebrated my bday with them.
its just a simple dinnerz w/ a lil surprise make my day.
not forgetting all those laughing and cam whoring moments.
 talking of cam whoring , IMMA THE TOP MODEL OF THE DAY W/UNGALM POSES!
but I had a great time, imma sure they did too.
thanks girls, yall really really made my day and thanks for everything.
please stay in my life and lets have more fun moments! <3
and my birthday ended.

7th June
KOREAN BBQ W/ HONEY (wei), BITCH (chew) , BABY (xuan) and SHISHU (beng) ^^
we went tajong pagar for korean BBQ!
the food is naise and the company is great.
its a celebration for me and wei.
sho this time CHEW is the spoiler.
she accidentally slipped her mouth and spilled the surprise that my shishu is coming! HAHAH
xuan and chew is really twin sister for being blur and dumb. HEEHEE
sho my shishu came in of the restaurant with a 'ANGRYBIRD' CAKE -.-
really wanna slap him sho badly. who the hell buy angrybird cake which doesnt taste naise.
HAHAH but i know its their lil effort sho i shall be naise.
same thing, birthday songs, blow candles, cut cakes and cam whoring!
and present from them ! they bought me MORGAN watch! <3
I love the present, I love the celebration and I love them. *KISS*
they are the people that I never ever wanna lose.
because of them,  I become strong when everything bad fall because they will be there to pick me up. and because of them I have sho many smiles and tears in my life.
thank you babies and shishus <3 :)
please know that yall are very impt to me and always will be.


8th June
SLEEP ALL DAY AND PARTY ALL NIGHT! :D
I went down to helipad with some friends.
and we had a great time !
drinking, dancing , smoking, having fun !
life is tough sho party hard while you can! :)


I had a pretty awesome time with the loves of my life.
thank you people, for being in my life, for everything.
because of all of you, I smile when times are tough.
imma grateful to god for putting sho many lovely people in my life.
and last but not least.
thank daddy&mummy for bringing me to this world.
at times imma really unhappy with yall, or vice versa.
but I love the both of you very much and I know yall love me too.



XOXO

me

sometimes, i admire my own stubbornness.
i admire my own thoughts.
and i admire myself for being like this.
imma too good at being me.

five

5months.
havent really gotten enough of my single life.

lazy

been really long since i last bloggg~
too busy and lazy to.
internship is boring as usual. tiring because i have to wake very early and its kinda far ):
sho lazy to say what i have been doing.
two more weeks to 20 ):
i really dont wanna turn old.
but well, this is part of life.
whenever my bday is nearing, ill always have this feeling of being afraid to feel disappointed.
idky.
its just another day i guess.















imy.















XOXO

I wanna get ink sho badly.

goodbye April, hello May.

times flies and yes its May alr.
how did the time passed sho quickly?
its almost half the year alr.
when you're young, you wanted to get old.
sho that you can do many things.
but when you're starting to get older, you wanna go back to the younger times.
yes, imma definitely talking about myself.
how i wish i could go back to being young again.
when exams are all you stressed about.
sigh still that same old line..
time wont slow down nor stop for anyone.
sho face the factsss.
April's over! hows your april people?
the last week of mine was horrible.
but its over.
May please be good, please.

when you're single, you see all the happy sweet couples.
when you're attached, you see all the freedom carefree people.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
sho learn to be contented with what you have before you lost it.


with no reasons, my mind is in a messed.
everything seems to be in a messed.
maybe just maybe, i messed it up myself.
out of a sudden, i dont know what i want anymore.
Its always when your heart wants this and your mind says the other.
this is call, mindfucked.
the worst thing is not that people mindfucked you, its when you mindfucked yourself.
its when you dont know what you really want, perhaps its not about wanting.
its needing.
wanting something doesnt mean you need it, and despite that you dont want it you need it.
wants VS needs.
just like mind VS heart.
orhkays, imma starting to not know what imma typing anymore.
perhpas i should stop here.



goodbye.
XOXO




______

Nong Monday

Its a nong nong monday.
internship sucks.
nothing much to do anyway.
just reading some contracts, asking the technicians to attend to the complaints.
slacking with the people, lunchy with chel and stoning in the office.
went 15mins( at bugis) to celebrate wz's bday.
I guess we are one big clique of people that are still sho close despite being in our third year in poly since secondary school.
dinner, slack and homesweethome.
super tired.
yet nao when imma homed, not that tired anymore.
helllll.
the weather is getting worse nowsaday.
sho annoying and humid. cranky too.
can the weather get any bettterrrrrrrrr!
its PH tmr.
yay restday and no work !
double YAYs because imma gonna catch the lucky one with the boy. (:
hopefully the movie wont fail me.
please be a good day later. (:


I miss many things, of all I miss being wanted by someone that loves me.
goodnights.


XOXO



which page are we on? or rather you?

Its a sunday!

went amk and make my specs with rachel! 

yay new specs. but only canz collect it on wednesday!

went novena and meet xuan and chiakee after that.

we went to visit baobao together. (:

hopefully she can faster recover and dicharge. 

homesweethome.

short day spend with the girls <3

been spending alot of time with my ladies nao. (:

omgosh, its monday tmr. 

meaning having to work ):

but its only my start of intern and I've been complaining alr. :/

orhkays, ranting is my hobby. 

tmr gonna be a long dayyyyy. 

hellman. 

k, shutup.

byes.

XOXO

I guess I master the skill of keeping things to myself.

shopping day

Its a great shopping day with my slut ! chiakeeeeee ! <3

we went town and have our shopping spreeee! (:

5 hours of non-stop walking.

gosh, tiringggg but great day ! 

more dresses and top for me! :D

happygirl92.

went to supper with shishus(beng&chongkit) , mingzhe and chiakee! (:

chongpang nasi lemak and homesweethome! 

guess shopping really makes me happy ^^

XOXO.

sho I ask myself, Is there any reasons for me or us to keep this going?

if there is, what is that?

two days of interns.
was alrights, sup is naise but naggy maximum.
18 weeks more to go.
come on ivy ng, lets go.
meetup with my girls today, had fun (:
battleship was awesome, rihannah is hot as usual.
wanna go for some shopping badly.
this week pass pretty fast and tiring as well.
wanna make use of my weekends.
start of intern life, means weekends are precious.









miss having someone to cuddle with.




XOXO.






cant feel you and perhaps paranoid again.

depressedgirl92.

what is love?

HI HI~

imma here to rant again. 

went to ktp today for my appointment. 

but fuckup, they told me its wed and the card had yesterday's date.

sho another 2 hours of waiting time. 

had a fight with mum at the hospital, embarrassed maximum. 

I cant stand her. seriously. nobody canz.

sho I had this dunno what infection at my throat. 

although its not painful anymore but the doc says its still swollen and I have to go back again next week. 

if its still swollen, imma in big trouble. 

sho imma gonna be a good girl and watch what I eat for ONE FUCKING WEEK.

FML.

I better be a good girl, stubbornness leads me to spending of almost $200 of medical fees. 

I could have spend this on shopping! argh. 

thinking of it makes me sad. 

but its orhkays~ lesson learnt!

when you're sick, you know best who is the one that cares for you. 

anddddd imma nao at home rotting! 

gonna go back for intern tmr alr.

I hope my pinoy HR and indian manager will be naise.

miss pinoy please dont make my life difficult cause imma not the one that scolded you.

LALALA~

I hope intern is not boring~

I rather be busy than bored.

good luck to me :)

imma a girl that loves to eat, despite the amount of food I eat is small.

I love junk food ,comfort food ^^

all the sweet stuffs and drinks.

especially when imma feeling down , I would vent it all on them.

of cos it doesnt work all the time.

sometimes those sweetness wont really make you feel sweet in the heart. 

can someone define love for me?

what is love?

can it be eaten?

seen too many bastards and jerks that I dunno what is it anymore.

not only I seen it in my own situation and also others.

I really dont understand how could a person say they love you this moment and tell someone else the same thing the next moment?

why is their love sho cheap? sho fucking cheap.

its possible to love many at once, your families , your friends, your other half.

but thats different kind of love. 

how do you love two guys/two girls at the same time?

if you love the first one, you wont notice the second one, moreover loving them.

what the hell is this man, call this love?

I call this rubbish, ridiculous, lying, cheating, irresponsible !

why do god create sucha people on earth?

EW. 

theres really no guy that can be trusted. 

I cant fucking trust one. 

omgosh. 

horrible.

IMMA CRAVING FOR KOI, KFC, MOS BURGER, MAC, PIZZA HUTZZZZZ, BK, ICE MILO, GCONGCHAAA, and many many more. 

BUT I HAVE TO WAIT TILL I FULLY RECOVER.

K, I NEED TO STOP RANTING~

imma a ranting bitchhhh~

goodbye.

XOXO.

I want a guy that will fight for me, because I gotta too tired fighting for someone.

prove me wrong.

 

what have i been thinking?

nightmare.

horrible.

went to see doc ytd yet was being refer to A&E.

i didnt know sore throat could be that serious.

the last thing i want is that surgery.

please, may my condition gets better.

went school for briefing today and intern gonna start tmr.

intern barely started and imma alr on MC.

this is bad.

IMMA CRAVING FOR ALL THE FAST FOOD.

cant wait to recover.

this pain is killing me.

argh.

get to hear this on 987FM.

how do you know if a guy likes you?

if a guy tells you he likes you yet not wanting commitment means he doesnt love you.

if you have doubts in a guy, he definitely doesnt love you or maybe not enough. because if a guy loves you he will show you through actions and make you feel secure and complete.

what do you think?

gotta go have my medicine nao.

goodbye.

XOXO.

at this holy hour..

I dont know why imma awake at some random timing and i cant sleep back.

was thinking of the boy.

I really do miss you.

maybe sometimes we are unsure of our own feelings.

but what i know is that since day 1.

you have been keeping me smiling.

always there to listen to my rants.

reading my mind likka book.

caring about me, worrying about me.

one day, it will all be clear.

just that one day.

sweetie, you light up my life when its the dark. <3

those smiles and laughter you've brought to me make me realized that there's actually someone out there willing to make me happy.

thankyou.

XOXO

Time flies when you don't look at it

ohwell.

didnt realized I haven't been blogging the past few days.

its friday alr.

orhkays thursday night for me.

met my girls this week.

Tuesday night dinnerz and ice cream with rachel, baoyi and xuanny.

catching up and spend some quality time together.

wed night party with C and A at rebel.

and I slept till 6 in the evening.

gosh, my body clock is damm screwed.

supposed to meet my H&M ex colleagues for dinner at town,

yet I fly them plane.

have been watching on call 36 hours this few days.

its a hk drama, I think its quite a naise and meaningful drama.

finished the show alr.

this week is coming to an end soon.

it also mean holiday is ending and intern is starting.

gosh thinking about it sucks...

well will be under PREMA but doing FM services for nation library board.

thinking of my group mate is seriously.... headache.

sighhhh.

have to face the facts anyway.

19 weeks of intern, wish me luck people.

anyway gonna meet my loveliest teammates later.

dinnerz at chomps with my fav people.

likka finally.

sighhhhhhhhh..

school is starting, intern is starting sho will be training ):

I really really don't want to face it.

lost that passion, lost that love, lost that confidence, lost my way, lost my..self.

I don't know how I used to love bball sho much.

I don't know how I used to spend sho much time on it.

I don't know how I used to sacrifice sho much for this.

sho much sweat, tears, hard work, time, commitment and effort on it.

yet I've lost it. lost touch, lost that passion.

have been running away from it for two months alr.

two months for not touching that orange ball, without training.

everything is back to zero.

can I please please not face it?

can time just stop at this moment?

stop at holidays?

I know time don't stop for anyone neither does it turn things around.

gosh, this is bad.

I don't know how life gonna be like when intern starts.

work, training, friends, families and everything else.

suchaaa headache thinking about all theses.

what goes through a guy mind when he starts falling for a girl?

I really don't know how to differentiate between liking someone or just friend's concern.

I really don't want to think about it but I just can't help it.

how to get rid of all those thoughts?

more than friends, less than lovers.

sucks. seriously.

only feeling it here and there.

I really don't like this feeling.

I know I know how he is always there for me.

listening to my rants, caring about how I feel.

but I really don't know what is all these.

perhaps I care too much, think too much.

sorry, but this is me.

been telling myself to be contented with whatever I have.

be contented of my life.

I've been trying too hard.

sometimes I wish I could control my own thoughts and feelings.

sometimes I wish there is a stop, pause and play button in my life.

maybe it's just another emotional night.

tmr will be better.

because it wont rain forever.

goodnights.

goodbye.

XOXO

MY GIRLS!

this is the cutest me! (and yes im that kind of girl that only look good in photos)

thats my bitch! <3

club boss ^^

thats my slut ! <3

thats my hairless! <3

BAOBAO AND CHEL! :)

MY BABIES! :)

Thats my ahwang ! <3

thats my twinny bp ! <3

thats my honey ! <3

thats my xuanny ! <3

lessons learnt..

perfect sunday!
had lunch with the boy, gotta myself KOI.
home and had ahma's BKT and a big juicy apple.
spend a lil time with my son and daughter.
happygirl92 :)
however period forever being a bitch.
moodswing, pms, crankyness, cramps.
BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
but afterall its still greatttt day ! :)



suddenly, I rmb how loser I used to be.
especially that super loser scene that I will never forget.
and IVY NG swear she will never be that fucking loser again.
I will never make the effort to make anyone stay in my life anymore if they wanna leave.
I will never do anything for anyone that wont appreciate the things I've done for them.
I will never make effort for anyone if they dont.
I will never love anyone when they dont.
if you want me, you fight for it.
nothing in the world comes free.
If you want my trust, you earn it.
because I learnt that trust is not easy and it should be earned by hardwork.
I'm no longer that old me anymore.
I'm no longer that loser that give in just because I love that someone.
I'm no longer that weak.
I'm a tough strong girl nao.
Yes, I'm finally learning my lessons and mistakes after sho long.
I've learnt that if i dont allow certain things to hurt me, it wont.
I've learnt to shut the pain off.
I've learnt to hide that pain and keep the pain to myself.
I've learn that if someone loves me, he'll fight for me and never walk away from me no matter what happened.
I've learnt that if someone loves you, he'll always make time for you no matter how busy he is.
I've learnt that lies, excuses, cheating is what guys are good at.
I've learnt that actions speaks louder than all those sugar coated words.
but sometimes guys are pretty good actors too.
that what all the jerks have taught me.
thanks for teaching me sho much.
most importantly I HAVE LEARNT THAT LEOPARD WILL NEVER CHANGE ITS SPOTS.
ONCE HE CHEATEF BEFORE, ITS LIKELY HE WILL CHEAT AGAIN.
lastly, fuck all the guys out there that is cheating on girls.
if you don't like someone, just walked away.
if you dont love your gf anymore, break up.
there's no point in cheating.
just fuckoff.


The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserved to.


just before I end,I'm really glad for the people that have always been here for me.
you know who you are. thanks babies. I love yall. <3 (:


and my candy, for all the laughers and smiles that you've brought to me. <3 :)



goodbye.
XOXO.

had a simple sat.
just nua at home.
spend some time with my baobei son.
meet up with xuann.
went holland V to have ice creammmm.
omgosh lychee martini flavour with waffles are awesome (Y)
it really damm shiok.
i love it.
spamming pictures at wendy's with the girl.
back to amk and had maccc for supper.
FATTTT!
and both of us are havig sore throat -.-
nao my throat is likka painnn !
nao imma homee rotting and watching teevee too.
had a great sat :)



wanna rant but dunno what to rant.
arghhhhh.
what is this damm feeling in me.
fuckkkk.
can i fucking screammmm ?
im home alone at night and i cant sleep alone ):
argh!





goodbye.
goodnights.

XOXO

TGIF

TGIF! :)
its friday today!
yay, actually it doesnt affect me much cause imma still having holidays.
but for the people out there TGIF !
gonna partehhhhhy tonight with my girls!
the last clubbing session before school starts!
however imma gonna partehyy despite being sick ):
hopefully it wont get worse ):
body aching , headache and sore throat.
best combo ever. (N)
argh !
orhkays, i just need to rant and rant.
enough ranting.
byes.

XOXO



imy.

लातेली..

finally time to blog again !
time flies seriously.
two more weeks of holiday left.
and for the past one and a half month i have been really enjoying my holiday.
having plans almost everyday.
indeed enjoyed my holidays.
best holiday ever.
bintan trip, kl trip, jb trip.
spending time with my love ones too.
love this holiday the mosttt ! :)
well back to reality two more weeks to intern ):
and best part still dunno where yet.
hopefully its a good company and most imptly its not far from my placeee!
ohyea! watched the vow and it was only average.
it didnt turned out to be as good as expected.
but the company is great :)
went jcube on mon but didnt manage to shop ):
wasted, travel sho far yet didnt get shop at the place. ):
shall go again some other time.
and went for cystal jade xlb buffet ytd at holland V to celebrate julia's 20th!
good food good company.
buttttttttttttttt..
came back having sore throat and headache.
sho nao imma stuck at home , sleeping the wholde day.
sucks to be sick. ):
welllllllllllllll, at least i feel better nao.
wanted to go for a joggggg but how to go lidatttt. ):
argh!
i hate feeling fat and always ammmmmm. fuggg.
orhkays enough ranting.

andd, my dear girls have been down this few days.
cheerup beautifuls.
it wont rain forever.
it wont hurt if you dont allow it to.
i know not mentioning it is because you dont wanna remind yourself of the pain again.
but you can always choose to not let it affects you.
i know its eaier said than done.
but just hang on people.
smile people :)


goodbye.

XOXO.


sho when to guard the heart and when to love again ?

SHOW LUO 羅志祥-愛入非非 CD ver.

this is awesome too <3

羅志祥-不用說 CD version

i love this song.

another day.

hi there.
had a great day today with my girls, orhkays it should be yesterday.
went NYP to find my shishu again and also wait for my girls to end school.
teehee.
den town with my girls (xuan, wei, chew)
we had GENKI SUSHI for dinnerz.
that place is really cute.
take order through IPAD and the food will deliver through a mini toy train.
its really cute. :)
thennnnnnnnnnnnnn...
we decided to lepak at the basement of orchard central.
chit chat and get GC! ^^
heehee.
went for a lil shopping at F21 and H&M, but gotten .... nothing.
home sweet home after a tiring day for the girls.
although we only met for a short period of time.
i always enjoy myself with them.
they are my happy pills.
today is a great day.
but tomorrow gonna be awesome.
becauseeeeee....
THE VOWWWWWWWWW TMR! YAYYYYYYY!
and its with the boy. :)
k, shall stop here.
goodnights people.



XOXO

=首播=羅志祥 Show [有我在 Count on Me ] 官方版 MV

His song His voice, meltzzzzzzzz! <3
i love him. <3

=首播=羅志祥 Show [不具名的悲傷] 官方版 MV

HUBBY's new song <3
 He is always sho awesome. (Y)

XOXO

you.

finally, i have to stop guessing.
know that i feel the same way too.
you <3


XOXO

lil things

I really like people who remembers the very small details of mine.
the lil habits.
the lil things I like and I dont.
the lil things I said and done.


XOXO

I dunno what went wrong and i hate this feeling.
and No, its not because of him, cause imma over him.
just this annoying feeling is making my heart heavy.


XOXO.






and i happen to see this :
''Don’t expect someone to stay sweet forever because even the sweetest chocolate has an expiration date.''

thankful :D

i think im pretty free lately therefore imma here to blog ,again.
sho fast its wednesday alr.
gosh time flies, especailly when you're having holidays.
watched hunger game on monday with rachel, baoyi and chiakee!
that show was awesome sho is the company. :)
and went dakota and have dinner and lao ban with chel and bao just nao.
had a lil catch up sessions and taking pictures as usual.
finally I've enough time for my girls.
realized last year i didnt spend enough time with them ):
sorry girls.
well, i promise to make it up nao. :)
true friends are always here for you no matter how much you neglected them, they will still not give up on you.
that shows how much my friends love me.
thanks babies. all my girls, shishus and twinny.
thanks for not giving me up. <3
yall are the best gift god gave me.
sho is my families and teammates!
Dear god, if you really exist.
please dont take them away from me.
i need them, alot.
sincerely , me.
XOXO




I dont treat someone particularly sweet when they meant nothing.
sho you must be special. <3 :)

sweet (:

hello there. :)
imma here to bloggggggg again.
i swear time is flying like dunno what.
sho fast I've been enjoying holiday for one MONTH ALR. ):
quite depress to know that.
orhkays, shutup.
i know its much better than many people alr. HAHAH
i have been going out everyday. no joke.
every single day since holiday started.
didnt get to nuaa at home at all.
spending really alot of time with my babies.
and spending some time with the lil boy.
seems like there's actually something for me to look forward to the weekends.
suddenly someone make me realized that there is actually someone who is willing to put a smile on my face.
i hope its not temporary.
because i know things always starts sweetly and end terribly.
well,you really make me smile alot and laugh alot.
how could someone be so sweet unconditionally ? <3 :)

anyway my dearest BP TWINNY is away for three days ):
and im missing her alr.
i hate to admit it but yes I MISS HER alr ):
nobody for me to GL and rant to for the next three days.
argh, cannot be selfish right ? ):
BUT i hope she have fun and enjoy herself (:
she deserve it :)
come back safely with the rest of my dears kays.
have fun people <3 :)


XOXO

everything are in place nao, i hope.

well, its 21st today.
glad to say it doesn't affect me anymore.
I'm over it, over you, jerk.
you aint gonna affect me anymore, not at all.
thanks for hurting me and leaving me.
you made me stronger and happier.
my life is pretty awesome without you.
but to be fair for once you are great in my life.
however you are the biggest mistake in my life.
whatever it is, i don't give a fuck anymore and i definitely wont miss you.
whatever you have done to me, i will rmb it.
i dont ever want to see you again, even if i do i will just pretend that i dont know you at all. you dont even fit to be a stranger to me.

hello there people!
im still enjoying my holidayyyys!
yes its fucking life.
spent quality time with my love ones.
im blessed to have sho many lovey people in my life.
thank you babies, for being here for me all the time.
to love and care for me.
to support me and dote me.
Im thankful for all my friends. :)
and my beloved family :)
I LOVE YOU ALL <3
imma pretty contented nao.
with my friends, families and you.
yes you, thanks for bringing me sho much laughter and smiles. :)
XOXO

“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then, but I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”
— Charles Bukowsk

define life.

hi there.
havent been really blogging.
went bintan with my guai-est classmates.
we had fun by the beautiful scenery there. :)
great trip with them <3
came back and work for IT fair under epson printer.
sho busy and tired.
for that one week, i didnt even have any time to think about it.
and nao back to reality.
need to face the facts and all again.
this messy life , messy heart.
was trying sho hard to forget and ignore it.
have been running away from it long enough.
its time to face it and deal with it.
its really impossible to ignore and treat as if nothing happened.
18 months, we have been thru sho long sho many things.
its not easy to just walk away despite hating the fact that you've changed and love someone else.
i cant just forget about it like you.
i cant ignore like as if nothing happened like you.
i cant shut all theses feelings like you.
i just cant.
despite knowing that you moved on or even cheated on me.
i just have to deal with it, i know.
im moving on, but my mind is in a messed, my life is in a messed, sho is my heart.
im tired, very tired.
tired of escaping from this feeling.
tired of trying sho hard to be strong.

just like any other girl.
i wanna be loved.
i wanna be pamper.
i wanna someone to care for.
i wanna have someone to lean on.
i wanna have someone to hug when everything turns out bad.

somebody define life for me.
it wont rain forever.
but will this rain stop soon please.
i miss the smiles on my face.
i miss myself.

hi there.
ermmmm, too much dramas lately.
and well i guess thats what a teens life should be right ?
hehe

sup!
exam is on fri and gonna end on next wed !
4papers in 3 days.
I CAN DO IT, LET GO!
well for the past three days, i have been partying, drinking.
hangovers and hangovers and not forgetting stupid things.
well i forgotten the number of times me and claudia kissed.
HAHAH, its one of the stupid thing we've done.
and many more.... shall keep it confidential uhs.
horrible feelings.
heavy head and heavy heart.
dammmmmm.
Im fucking back to square one again.
sometimes i manage to convince myself ______ yet sometimes my brain and heart is like having war.
why isit that this feelings is haunting me everyday and yet you are happily living your life?
after that day, i claerly know where i stand, where we stand.
i just fucking wants to get over it.

when two people are not meant to be it will end afterall.

sho damm tired.
need a breakkkkk from everything.
getaway trip please come soon.

seriously, you proved me right that i didnt trust you.
and you are moving on so fast that i feel sho damm disgusted.
fucking disgusted

why didnt this feeling fade away?
why isit as strong as it used to be?
isit the same for you ?

SCHOOL IS FUCKING STRESSING ME OUT !

miss you a lil too much lately.

feb gonna be hell busy and stress.
need a getaway trip so badly!

dont expect too much from me.
building walls for my heart so that it would not get hurt anymore.
right nao, whats more impt to me is my friends and family.
nothing else really matters.
so dont be too naise, dont expect anything from me.
im not ready yet.

不是爱不起，只是伤不起。

moving on.

hello people.
happy cny. may this lunar new year bring more happiness.
anyway school gonna start getting busy.
ahhhh. well, its means holiday is coming too.
about a month more and its holiday.
yays.
things seems to be getting better.
just, im moving on.
xoxo

so, thats life.

hi there, another emotional post?
well, page 14 of 366.
so far, 2012 have been a messed.
school is tiring, slowly dreading me out.
projects, assignments, IVP, trainings and main exam in a month time.
busy with school.
how i wish this busy-ness could really keep me busy.
but , no.
sadly, i guess this gonna take a long time.
this heartbreak, is killing me.
but well, gotta suck it up.
thats life, life goes on.
everday, i have to go thru insomnia and i hate it.
im so tired physically, so so tired.
but i just couldnt fall asleep despite lying on bed for so long.
everything i do, everywhere i went, its all about you.
every corner of home has a memories of you.
sigh, i really really wanna get over it fast.
or maybe my heart didnt want me to.
I didnt know i love you so much till when you completely left.
I thot i could handle this well, but no.
everyday, fighting the urge not to text you.
not taking my meals regularly, not having enough sleep.
kill me even better.

xoxo.

im super tired.
i just wanna have a good sleep.
but im having insomnia everyday ):

i couldnt sleep.
so im here to edit my blog.
and its done. time for bed.
goodnights.

if i ask, will you stay?
obviously, i know the answer.
if you will, you wont even leave.
fml.
sucks to be me.

why does it hurt so much?
why isit so hard to pretend its orhkay?
actually there's no one right ?
you still love me dont you?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
i DUNNO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT!
I DUNNO WHAT THE FUCK IM THINKING.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
aint you tired?
youve been running on my mind everyday every minute every second.
aint you tired?
can you just stop?
its killing me.
why didnt you fight for me, if you love me.
im just that worthless.
aint i?
fucking loser, i know.

sometimes i wish i could stay in the dream.
at least WE were happy in it.
but its not reality.
how long more must this torture me?
is there really nothing more you can do?
nothing more for us to turn it ard?
i guess so.

xoxo

could really rape your mind nao.
whats in it?

seems like you moved on pretty fast.
seems like you love someone else.
seems like everything was a dream.
all along its one sided isnt it ?
how did you pretend to love me for so long?
to pretend to love me for 18months.
how did you do that ?
your kisses, your hugs, you love, your concern.
how did you even do that ?
suddenly all the answer seems so clear nao.
your cold texts, losing that sense of closeness.
you could walk off so easily.
because you were bored of me alr.
how did you tell me 'iloveyou' everyday when you dont ?
you treat me likka fool, likka toy.
everyday, im here thinking of you.
crying for you, missing you.
everyday im struggling.
everyday i wish you could just stop and think of me.
everyday i wonder if you're missing me?
everyday i'm still waiting for your texts.
everyday i wish you could come back.
while you mind was occupied by someone else.
stupid, i know.

been two weeks.
still struggling.
still crying.
still missing you.
still loving you.
but no longer wanting you.

so, I'm here missing you everyday&everynight.
while you?
seems like you are so much happier nao.
life must be geat without me.
good for you.

yes, it a brand new year, again.
last year this time, I'm crying for this person.
this year I'm still crying over the same person.
last year, we didnt started officially.
this year, we ended off officially.
funny isnt it?
yes, this is how's life make fun of me.
to finally let me have you and nao lost you.
you're moving on while I'm still stuck here.
trying very hard to keep my mind off you.
to make myself busy.
BUT just BUT you are always on my mind.
no matter how hard i tried, i just couldnt get my mind off you.
neither my heart.
you knew i couldnt afford this heartbreak.
yet you still choose to walk away easily.
I know i have to fucking move on and stop being likka kid.
I know i just have to accept the fact,
yes, i am accepting it.
i just love you, i just miss you.
no matter how unwilling to let go, i have to.
whats the point when you are unhappy.
when you dont love me anymore ?
all i want is you to be happy, even i have to cry myself to bed everyday.
to pretend to be strong in front of my friends.
to be a fucking loser in everybody eyes, in your eyes.
so what ?
just because i love you.
just because this so called 'love'
just because of you.
its not your fault.
its mine.
if from the start, i didnr force you to even start.
things like this wont happened.
im sorry to keep you being unhappy for so long.
im sorry i wasted your time.
im sorry that i love you.
im sorry that im just a fucking loser.
please be happy.

xoxo.
happy new year.