heartbreaker?

I have never broken a heart of someone I love.
I have broken hearts that I doesnt have feelings with but this is the first time i choose to break the heart of someone I love.
I didnt know it would hurt this much.
It too pain for me to handle.
Everyday I put on smiles to people to assure them Im okay.
But every inch of me wants to breakdown.
And I cant, I couldnt let people see the weak side of me.
Moreover I dont want them to worry about me.
Especially people who cares for me.
I DONT WANT THEM TO FEEL SAD THAT THEY CANT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
and I know even me myself cant do anything to make myself feel any better.
Why does it hurt sho much，太痛了.
Well, what a four letter words have done to me.
It really pains me more to see you hurt.
Everynight, tears just rolled lidat.
No matter how much I tried to suppress it.
Insomnia really needs to stop disturbing me.
I want to rest, I want to sleep.
Thats the only time I wont have to feel the pain.
Im sucha loser, always.
I need to stop ranting.
Goodnights.

Im a heartbreaker with a broken heart.







Xoxo