I dont know isit i got tired of ranting, whinning
OR i cant be bother of saying all theses anymore.
Its pointless afterall.
saying doesnt makes me feel any better.
It doesnt make all those feelings go away.
It cant change anything as well.
Perhaps i just dont wanna remind myself of the pain.
Or maybe just maybe too numb.
I would loves to meet all my lovely girlfriends and buddies and shishus.
But facing them is having to face theses all Over again.
What happened?
are you ok?
you deserve better?
did you guys talk?
And many more.
I dont want to answer all of thatt.
Because whats coming from me aint true ,mostly.
Of course im not ok despite its me who initial it.
Im not ok and i dont deserve anyone.
I know each and everyone cares for me deeply
And are definitely happy for me cause all of them thinks i deserve someone better.
But the fact is im the not good enough one.
All the problems lies in me.
Im the most horrible girl on earth.
And thats why i dont deserve anyone.
Everyday is just plain torture.
No matter how much i tried not to think of it.
It came floating into my mind all the time.
And yes only i can pick myself up.
Nobody knows how hard i tried. How much im struggling.
Im really glad my friends are all here to give me a helping hand.
I appreciated it alot.
I will pick myself up and one day i will be okays.
One day i wont have pretend to smile to hide thoses sadness.
Eventually, everything will get better .
I know.
I just..
Well.
Goodbye.
Xoxo
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